Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
