It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
