Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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