Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
