What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
