We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
