why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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