Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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