So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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