I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
