i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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