i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
