i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
