just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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