So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
