Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
