Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
