he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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