WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
