i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are we still banned from the library?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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