Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
