im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
