this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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