i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
