Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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