so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
