Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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