I'm really into asian looking animals
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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