Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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