Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Someone came in the potted fern
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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