GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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