im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
