i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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