I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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