Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
