you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
be right there i have to get my cape
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
