Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
