I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think my moral compass just broke
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
