Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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