I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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