Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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