we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
