Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
