READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
