afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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