I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Randomize
