She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
