I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wear drunk well.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
