the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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