Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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