Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
