The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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